Prosecution: A Way to Break the Cycle of Abuse

   

            Prosecuting a domestic violence offender is one way to break the cycle of abuse.  Many women are abused everyday from all walks of life.  Domestic violence does not care about your socioeconomic background, age, religion, or sexual orientation.  Since domestic violence is such a widespread crime the laws have become more stringent towards offenders.

                The only way to stop the abuser is to report the crime to the police.  Many people feel their abuser will retaliate against them if they decide to press charges (Alioto, 2008).  This mentality along with the emotional connection to the abuser makes it hard for the woman or abused person to prosecute. 

                As an abused woman myself there were many instances where I did not call the police for fear of more abuse.  I can remember a specific incident where I was washing the dishes and I was upset that my boyfriend at the time had stayed out all night.  Because I wanted to avoid an argument I did not say anything we he came home.  Instead of letting things be he decided he wanted to argue and push my buttons.  As hard as it was for me I tried to ignore him until he became really angry and him slapped me hard across my face.  I wanted to fight back but I knew if I tried to defend myself it would make things worse.  The next day he continued to be upset and had one too many drinks.  He decided to hit me again because I did not want to be intimate with him.  This time after he passed out from drinking and the exhaustion of beating me I called the police.  I was fed up and I had enough.  Well at that time I had enough.  The police came and picked him up.  He was arrested and had to stay away from me for 72 hours.  If I wanted a protective order I would have to file for one that would extend longer.  I did not file for extended protection and he came back home.  By the time the court date came around he was in his best behavior and promised to get help so I tried to drop the charges.

                I am glad that the laws have changed because if a victim drops the charges the state picks up the charges and the abuser is still prosecuted.  When victims do not wish to proceed, prosecutors should not be discouraged. Instead they should seize the opportunity to learn why victims are reluctant to proceed against offenders and to understand the cycle of domestic abuse (Alioto, 2008).  It is very hard for a victim to break away from her abuser because of an emotional connection and fear of being killed.  Prosecutors should provide victims with information about domestic violence agencies that can help them leave abusive relationships (Alioto, 2008).

                It is always better to report abuse every time it happens so that it can be documented on the police report.  By calling the police and pressing charges while trying to gain help to leave the situation will show the abuser that you are serious about not tolerating this behavior.  No matter how bleak the situation may seem there are agencies and the legal system can help.

Alioto, M, ( 2008, September), 'Break the cycle of abuse: Prosecuting domestic violence cases', Young Lawyer, 12, 11, p. 2, Retrieved 24 February 2011, from Academic Search Complete Database.

When the children are caught in the middle of domestic violence relationships

                Many women are abused everyday and they struggle with the decision to stay or leave.  A big determining factor of this decision is the children.  It is easier for the woman to break all ties with their abuser if there are no children involved.   I know this from personal experience.  I have two girls and my youngest daughter is by the man that abused me for years.  When I finally gained the courage to leave I still had to have contact with him because of our daughter.  I went to Henrico County court to file for full custody but my petition was denied because there was no abuse to the child.  The court awarded us joint custody with physical custody to me. Even though I had suffered years of abuse from this man because we have a child together, he was able to have my phone number and address.  He would constantly harass me by phone when he was supposed to be calling in reference to our daughter.  He even went as far as to drop by my house all times of the night unexpectedly. 

I was fortunate enough not to suffer any more physical abuse from him but the emotional abuse was just as bad.  It took years for him to get help and to finally leave me alone.  He has limited access to our daughter do to his own decision.  When children are involved it is unfortunate that the courts does not consider the abuse to the spouse in child custody hearings.  The women are still subject to abuse from the father of the children because the father is allowed by law visitation rights.  Some men use this to have control and to insert themselves into the abused women life to cause constant fear.

 The women who have been abused worry about the effect that the abuse will have on their children.  Research shows that children who live in abusive homes will either become abusers themselves or be abused by a spouse children also suffer psychological and sometimes physical abuse as well (Shalansky, 1999, et. al.).  The mothers of these children fear that the children may be abused as punishment for leaving the relationship.

                It is important for both the women and children to receive counseling to minimize the emotional and psychological effect of living in an abusive household.  Studies have shown that 19% of abused women were still being abused after they separated from their partner.  Since the courts allow the father access to the children the abuser uses the opportunity to harass and abuse the women.  The children see this as the father fighting for the relationship and thinks this is how love is shown (Shalansky, 1999, et. al.).  Children begin to think this type of behavior is acceptable and will be less likely to oppose someone that treats them the same way their mother was treated.

                Unfortunately three forth of abused women fall into other relationships that are abusive as well.  It seems that this is a never ending cycle.  The women leave one abusive relationship just to fall into another.  I believe the system needs to be changed to offer more protection for abused women because even once these women muster up enough courage to leave they are still being punished.  The children are something that will bond the abuser and the victim together for life and the abuser uses this to their advantage.  Some women were even killed after they left their abusive partner.

                The decision to leave is difficult because in either instance the abused women are always afraid for her life.  A restraining order can be filed but it is hard to comply with when a child or children are involved that the father has access to.

Shalansky, C., et. al. (1999).  Abused women and child custody: the ongoing exposure to abusive ex-partners. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 29(2), 416-426. Retrieved February 2, 2011, Academic Search Complete.